Formal Introductory Letter

Dear Professor Blackstone

My name is Chiu Pin, will be turning 23 years old this year, and currently, a first-year student studying civil engineering at the Singapore Institute of Technology. I am writing this introductory letter to help you get to know me better. 

I was born and raised in a small town in Malaysia and moved to Singapore when I was 12 years old. Since then, I have witnessed the progress and growth of buildings in Singapore and have always been interested in being part of this city’s development, hence my pursuit of a degree in the construction industry. At first, I prepared myself for a career in architecture but quickly realized that engineering was a more practical choice for me because, rather than coming up with design ideas, I am more inclined to implement them.

One of my biggest hobbies is watching movies and TV series. They tend to temporarily divorce you from reality and transfer you from your present state of mind to some other state of mind. They expose or show appreciation for specific dimensions or perspectives of life, which is helpful in making me versatile while dealing with different things in my life. 

My strength is that I am able to relate well to others. For example, in order to let them know I understand their position, I am willing to agree to disagree with mutual respect. I enjoy observing people and predicting their actions. I think it is the best way to increase my ability to interact with others. With this strength, I have not encountered any conflicts with anyone in my entire school or work life so far. However, in terms of my communication weakness, I get really nervous when I have to speak in front of a group because English is not my first language. Therefore, during presentations, I often lose my train of thought and end up having trouble with a clear delivery. 

I truly hope that by the end of the module, I will be more comfortable speaking in front of others, not to mention, improving my written communication and grammar, and expanding my English vocabulary.  

Best Regards
Chiu Pin

Comments

  1. Hi Chiu Pin, thank you for sharing more about yourself ! Your content is clear and concise! It was interesting to know that you moved here since you are 12 and how fascinating the growth of the buildings in Singapore was to you! I believe that you will be able to your weakness in the weeks to come! I look forward to getting to know you more.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you for your reply! I admire your confidence in speaking and hope be able to improve my weakness by learning from you. Looking forward to more posts from your blog too.

      Delete
  2. Hi Chiu Pin, thank you for sharing! Your letter is clear, concise and complete as you have delivered what's needed and your letter can be easily understood.

    For the third paragraph, it would be better if you were to type 'favourite hobbies' instead of 'biggest hobbies'. Other than that, you have good use of language. Looking forward to your future posts and to getting to know you better.

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    Replies
    1. Hi Stephanie, thank you for your reply! And noted for your feedback, I will look into it. Looking forward to know you more too!

      Delete
  3. Hi Chiu Pin! Thank you for sharing about yourself! I feel that everything is written well so far with the content that were needed. Everybody have their own set of weakness and strength, improvement is what gives us the opportunity of grow to be a better person. I look forward to knowing you more in the years to come and don't be too nervous when presenting. Take everyone like a wooden log and speak freely and everything will be smoother.

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    1. Thank you for your comment and advice about weakness, I'll take your word for it! Hopefully would be doing better for my future presentations. Looking forward to know you more too.

      Delete
  4. Hi Chiu Pin, thank you for sharing about yourself, this really helped to get to know you better. Content-wise I felt that your introduction letter was very nicely put together. There were parts where you elaborated with very creative use of language and personally I liked how the general flow of the letter could be clearly seen. Really enjoyed reading this. :)

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    1. Thank you for reply! It's great to hear that I'm able to express my content clearly for you to get a better idea of who I am! Looking forward to more posts from your blog!

      Delete
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  6. Dear Chiu Pin,

    Thank you for this clear, concise and fairly well substantiated letter. The content is in line with the assignment brief, you organize your ideas well and the language use is mainly effective. You've also done well by providing supporting information for each specific content area, which allows us readers to gain a better understanding of the person you are.

    In the discussion of how your focus in engineering developed, for example, you mention your early fascination with buildings and architecture. It's interesting also how you see engineering being more focused on implementation rather than design.

    You mention coming from a small town in Malaysia when you were 12. That must have been a huge adjustment for you. (I'm curious which town, or kampong you actually came from since my Asian journey started with me living in Petaling Jaya and KL back on the 80s and 90s.)

    What I also like in this post is that you demonstrate a willingness to improve in areas like presenting and language use. Here are a few language issues to take note of:
    1. sentence structure
    -- My name is Chiu Pin, will be turning 23 years old this year, and currently, a first-year student study.... > (run on sentence)
    My name is Chiu Pin. I will be turning 23 years old this year and currently am a first-year st
    -- I will be more comfortable speaking in front of others, not to mention, improving my written communication and grammar, and expanding my English vocabulary. >
    (lack of parallel structure)
    I will be more comfortable in speaking in front of others, writing with grammatical accuracy, and using my English vocabulary.

    2. word choice
    -- They tend to temporarily divorce you from reality and transfer you from your present state of mind to some other state of mind. > (use of "you", which is too conversational)
    They tend to temporarily divorce a person from reality and transfer them from a present state of mind to some other state of mind.

    I look forward to learning more about you this term.

    Best wishes,

    Brad

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    1. It is indeed a big adjustment for me, especially at the language used but gradually Im able to catch on. I am curious about your experience in Msia back in the 80s and 90s days! Have you had a chance to visit the places again?
      And thank you for your feedback Prof Brad! I will take note of those issues and make necessary amendments to my next letter. Looking forward to your upcoming classes!

      Delete
  7. I actually had a condo in Robson Heights, KL, until 2010, so yes, I was able to visit. Great place!

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